One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.
About that time, an investment banker came walking down the beach, trying
to relieve some of the stress of her workday. She noticed the fisherman
sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing
instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family.
Once again the fisherman asked, "And then what will my reward be?"
Redneck Computer Lingo
Hard drive. Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with three flat tires while pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
Keyboard. Place to hang your truck keys.
Window. Place in the truck to hang your guns.
Modem. How you got rid of your dandelions.
ROM. Delicious when you mix it with cola.
Cursor. What some guys do when they are mad at their wives and/or girlfriend.
Bit. A wager,
as in, .I bit you can.t spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways..
|BIG TROUBLE !
In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wit's end trying to control them.
Hearing about a priest nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to the father that they ask the priest to talk with the boys.
The mother went to the priest and made her request. He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent him to the priest.
The priest sat the boy down across a huge, impressive desk he sat behind.
For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other.
Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief. He finally said, "We are in BIIIIG trouble."
The older boy asked, "What do you mean, BIIIIG trouble?"
His brother replied, "God is missing and they think we did it."