FISHIN'  
 

One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and  the prospect of catching a fish. 

About that time, an investment banker came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of her workday. She noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing  instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family. 
"You aren't going to catch many fish that way," said the investment banker to the fisherman. 
 "You should be working rather than lying on the beach". 
The fisherman  looked up at the investment banker, smiled and replied, 
"And what will my reward be?" 
"Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish" was the banker's answer. 
"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling. 
The investment banker replied, 
"You will make money and you'll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish". 
"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman again. 
The investment banker was beginning to get a little irritated with the  fisherman's questions. 
"You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people  to work for you" she said. 
"And then what will my reward be?" repeated the fisherman. 
The  investment banker was getting angry. 
"Don't you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish  for you". 

Once again the fisherman asked, "And then what will my reward be?" 
The investment banker was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, 
"Don't  you understand that you can become so rich that you will never  have  to work for your living again.  You can spend all the rest of your  days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset.  You won't have a  care in the world." 
The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, "And what do you think  I'm doing right now?" 

Hard drive. Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with three flat tires while pulling a trailer load of fertilizer. 

Keyboard. Place to hang your truck keys.

Window. Place in the truck to hang your guns. 

Modem.  How you got rid of your dandelions. 

ROM.  Delicious when you mix it with cola. 

Cursor. What some guys do when they are mad at their wives and/or girlfriend. 

Bit. A wager, as in, .I bit you can.t spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways.. 
 

 In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wit's end trying to control them.

Hearing about a priest nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to the father that they ask the priest to talk with the boys.

The mother went to the priest and made her request. He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent him to the priest.

The priest sat the boy down across a huge, impressive desk he sat behind.  For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. 
 Finally, the priest pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, 
"Where is God?"
The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, but said nothing. 
 Again, louder, the priest pointed at the boy and asked, "Where is God?" 
 Again the boy looked all around but said nothing.
A third time, in a louder, firmer voice, the priest leaned far across the desk and put his forefinger almost to the boy's nose, and asked, "Where is God?" 
 The boy panicked and ran all the way home.

Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief. He finally said, "We are in BIIIIG trouble."

The older boy asked, "What do you mean, BIIIIG trouble?"
 

 His brother replied, "God is missing and they think we did it."