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(Llewellyn
Gwynedd)
So anyway, there I was, surrounded
by dinosaurs. I have to admit to being slightly more than astonished that
they hadn't seemed to notice me.
As I inhaled deeply and slowly
exhaled (1 think I was trying very hard to ward off panic) somewhere from
deep within the recesses of my brain a question was beginning to work its
way into my consciousness: what the Devil was I doing here surrounded
by dinosaurs ?!?
If this was 65 million years ago,
how did I get here ? Did I travel back in time from contemporary twentieth
century Earth by way of a time machine just to drop in for a visit ? If
I did, why couldn't I remember it ? If, on the other hand, this was still
contemporary twentieth century Earth, what were all these Dinosaurs doing
here ? Had they just dropped in for a visit, maybe to witness the great
future of clear-cutting, mass species extinction, environmental toxicity,
global pandemics and ozone destruction that could have been theirs if they
hadn't been stupid enough to get wiped out by a one-hundred million megaton
meteorite?
In the midst of all this complex,
mind-boggling logical deduction, it suddenly struck me that the first moment
I remembered was the moment I realized I was standing here surrounded by
Dinosaurs. Before that, I had absolutely no recollection. How weird!
WOW!
I What a great 'Twilight Zone" episode this would make. At this point,
I made a mental note to contact the biggest movie studio I could think
of at the earliest opportunity.
Suddenly, there seemed to be some
movement nearby. The delicacy of my situation demanded prudence. I decided
that I should wake up and start paying attention to what was happening
around me. So, slowly and cautiously, I surveyed my neighbours nearby:
there were various Brontosaurs grazing on vegetation at different places
on the terrain and off in the distance I'm sure I spied a Pterodactyl flying
and oh no ! There it was the dreaded Tyrannosaurus Rex THE TERRIBLE LIZARD
!!
My heart seemed to skip a number
of beats as I looked at it, hoping it wouldn't spot me. Drat ! Wouldn't
you know it ? It was at that very instant that it looked in my direction.
For a moment both of us seemed
frozen in time... paralysed by inaction and sentiments uncertain. Then,
ever so slowly, its massive head turned upward to catch the wind and unfortunately
my scent wafting on it. Although overwhelmed by near-crippling terror,
a tiny idea took root and began to grow in my mind:
"Hey ! This was just a poor,
dumb animal. A huge and frighteningly efficient eating machine, perhaps,
but still --a poor, dumb animal. I, on the other hand, had
an opposable THUMB. I was special. I was capable of rational thought. I
was... an HOMO SAPIEN. I was an infinitely superior being endowed with
savage destructive powers and a legacy of genocide and nuclear war in my
favour."
Defiantly -- almost in a challenging
fashion -- I tossed my head in the direction of my foe and thrust my chest
outward as I prepared to stare it down. At this moment I also realized
that a tiny stream was flowing past my webbed feet and I looked down at
it to view my reflection -- almost to affirm my superior status as a...
bird.
A bird ?!? WHAT ??? Yes,
it was true. I had mistaken my own identity (1 also realized I'd have to
forget about the movie studio deal). I was not an HOMO SAPIEN at all. I
was just a scrawny, skinny, unkempt, filthy, little bird and I didn't even
have the dignity to know what species I was.
I glanced back at the Tyrannosaurus
and instantly my courage evaporated somewhere into the cosmos. I let loose
a strangling, rasping, screeching, blood-curdling scream, turned and ran
for my life. Looking back, I could see that T.Rex was hot on my heels,
rapidly bearing down on me. Oh what a dire end for such a hapless, witless
bird !!! Surely, there had to be some reasonable alternative. Surprising
even myself, I turned suddenly to face T.Rex. He, too, rocked back on his
heels and stared at me... apparently equally surprised by my actions.
This predatory chase simply made
no sense to me. After all I, as a bird, was the contemporary descendant
of the great Dinosaurs. An evolutionary echo as it were. They were my ancestors
and therefore how could there not be a kinship between us?
'Wait !!!' I screeched.
'You could be my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,
great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,
great... GRANDFATHER!!!
By the afternoon, I had settled
down with a lovely, hot cup of tea. I downed it and refilled my china cup.
Tea tastes so exquisite from a china cup, I mused. I leaned over to help
my tea-time guest adjust his serviette, then poised the tea pot over his
china cup ready to pour. "More tea, GrandDad ?" Grinning from ear to ear
revealing a gaping jaw brimming with huge, jagged, nasty fangs -- he roared
... "PLEASE !!!
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